Atilia goes back to Bangkok Jazz

A special dedication to Winnie the Pooh

This is a very special blog to my beloved, Winnie the Pooh.haha. I still remember how we used to get to know each other. She was a transfer student from Jit Sin High School and not long after transferring, she was elected the prefect and she's in charge of patrolling the school compound during the recess hour so that there's no student that are eating in the class. Most of the time she would be in the top floor of the school. The curious me, after getting some information about she being called Seow Mei, proceed ahead one day to tease her by calling her 'Siao Mei Mei'. lolz. And after that, our friendship slowly developed. The fun that we went through, the cycling to tuition classes, the crossing of the not-so busy road, the campfires, the camps, the flowers that were given by your admirers, the dance machine, the coffee that is made before going for school trip, the Langkawi trip in Form 3, the Melaka trip in Form 4, the Genting trip in Form 5. And then you left us when the whole family moved down to KL. That's when we started to go our own way. But the friendship never went it's own way. We still stick like rice balls. Phone calls are just minutes away. And after my Form 6, I went to KL, and we're together again. But the roads to life is different for each of us. Though we're staying close to each other, we're also busy with our own stuff. But we still make it a must to get together as often as possible. We also toured the whole peninsular together for almost a month through our work in the event company. What a great experience and great fun we had. But she left us again when she went to UK to complete her studies and continue to work there. Now that she's back, she will be going off again soon. Fights are almost certain in any friendship and we grow from those fights to understanding each other more. It's great to know someone, who is so close to you and be able to be so pure and vulnerable to each other knowing that there will always be someone who will be there for you to listen and support you. It's even greater to find someone that has most of the same likings as you and yet being so close to share most of the wonderful things. To quote her,'It's God's wish that we are best of friends'. Happy birthday and love you lots.

Happily Never After - Nicole Scherzinger

I guess that when 2 person hang out together too often, one will start to find the faults in the other. One will think that just because of the hanging out together for so long, the other would be ok with whatever is said or done, even if it is insulting or degrading. I would say NO! I'm not that kind of person that would swallow in the insulting remarks that come in droves. To think that when one gave out so much to a friend, and expecting a simple help in return is just naive of me. I realized that the things done do not even come with a simple return or help when in times of need. What a joke to myself. I guess I should make it clear here but since there's not much people reading this, I'm much safer to say whatever I want.

1. I do not like to be ridiculed in the public nor within a group of friends.
2. I do not like to be make fun of in the public.
3. I do not like to be called upon names esp loudly in the public.
4. Please do not ask me lame questions that require lame answers. What a lame thing to do

Come Together - Carly Smithson

My hp officially failed on me. No hp, no contact, no sms, no nothing. Suffocating... When a few things happened at once and everything crashed down on you, you will like it's so heavy and have emo crash. Tired, emotionally and physically. How foolish of me to think that the phrase 'A friend in need is a friend indeed' when it's not applicable at all.

Imagine - David Archuleta

The happy ending to a perfect love is always a joyful reunion of the couple to express their undying devotion to each other in the days to come.
The picture of big and small peoples.
On the day everything memorable begins.
The distance is not to judge for the witness of this joyful occasion.
A small family of laugher, sadness and everything gold inside.
The present and the future.
A testimony of a beautiful family in progress.
A night of beautiful people.
Angels gather on this night to be mesmerized by the graceful princess.
A simply picture says the blissful gathering.
The prettiest of them princesses.

Stay Gold - Utada Hikaru

We tend to run when we're hurting, we tend not to forgive and forget... That's the way we are when we are in love.

Isn't it ironic that we always find fault in other but not ours; blaming other when it's ours to be blamed?

Some people's world is so small and their brain so tiny that all they have are rumours, so that they can get their world moving.

Your Guardian Angel - The Red Jumpsuit Appartus

It's the month of love. Love someone like you want to be loved but don't love to the point of losing yourself. Love someone like the other person should be loved but don't love to the point of hurting yourself too much when the other person doesn't love you back. Love like how you are happy loving someone but don't love to the point you're sad and miserable everyday thinking about your own relationship and nothing else. Some people would prioritize love and relationship as the first place in their life, giving 200% of their attention to it. Any other reasons to live will be related to the relationship alone. Some people keep holding to the relationship even when it's going rotten. Hoping that it would be revived in time with 'a little ' of hard work and TLC. Some people love so much that they kept thinking back of their past relationship even when it ended pretty badly. Just thinking about the little good time and a lot of bad times would end them up crying. Some people who thought they have completely forgotten the ex would come back being sad once the ex said something or initiated a small conversation over nothing in particular. Some people love so much that they went a long way from they what they are previously. The level of patience to endure was stretch to a whole new level and beyond imagination. Some people hold so tightly to a relationship that they keep thinking about the good times to keep them going or be happy with just a small gesture or a few words.

But who am I to judge? I'm just a bystander who stands in an invisible corner quietly watching people in their relationships. All in all, this is their decision, and this is what makes them happy. So, who are we to judge?

Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis

Changes are inevitable. Changes are for the good. Through changes only one will grow. Changes made someone see something new or something in a new perspective. What may be noticed by one person might not be noticed by another in the same view. Subtle changes in a scenic picture might not be noticed by the passerby or the person that does not pay attention. But the changes might make the picture expressed more through the strokes or the changes made. Sometimes, what has changed will not revert back to it's origin. So, let what has changed be changed and never try to question what made the changes but rather question has the changes made any good out of it and how are we going to adapt to the changes. So, what has changed in the picture? People who are observant and preserved on will notice the subtle changes and adapted to the changes, but people who are distant to the picture will feel a drastic change and feel the scene is no longer the same. Again we ask, what has changed?

Disappear - No Angels

Happy Chinese New Year!
Happy Rat Year!
Have a good Valentine's Day!
Happy Birthday to peoples....

Happy Ending- Mika

To me, every one has their own freedom and rights, even after they are together with someone. Being together with someone doesn't mean sacrificing your freedom and individuality to the point that you're losing yourself. What is the point of being together with someone just to lock them up and not letting them do practically everything? Just because you're the kind of person that doesn't go out or do some cool stuff, doesn't mean your other half have to follow you. This is a mean of changing someone into you yourself. In the end, the one you love is you yourself and nobody else. Cause the person you love in the first place is no longer there and is replaced by the exact replica of you. What you may not realize is that the other person might be suffocating, and dying for a quick release once in a while, and even that is taken away. Salutation and sympathy at the same time; salutation for having the great patience and sympathy for being suffocated in loving someone. I treasure my own freedom and individuality, and I do so to my friends'.

Brave - Jennifer Lopez

Lets head out to the fields,
Pick up the dandelions,
Tiny wings lift off the base,
A wish will be made.

Lets rest a moment,
Wait for the first snow to arrive,
As it hits the panes of window,
Our wish will be true.

Lets ride out in the autumn road,
Lift off with the chilling breeze,
Soak ourselves under the bright sunlight,
Dive into the ocean of falling leaves.

Lets lie awake on the roof during the starry night,
Wait for the falling star from heaven,
My secret wish,
The solstice dawn upon us and freeze the time.

Never Gonna Leave Your Side - Daniel Beddingfield

The rain drops turn into snow,
And the snow, into nothingness,
Leaving the place I stand in,
A piece of dry barren land.

I rose up and try to leave the barren land,
Eager to grasp the snow and rain drops,
A set of chains appear,
Pulling my feet back on ground.

Steadfast on the piece of barren land,
Trying desperately to break free of the chains first,
And stop to ponder next,
Of what is and what not.

The wingless and bland me,
Trying to reach and grasp the piece of heaven that don't fit in.

The Ice Dance( Edward Scissorhands Sountrack) - Danny Elfman

New year, new resolution, and a new you & me. Time for resolutions to be made and accomplished or broken. Time to analyze and correct oneself for a better person in the coming years.

1.** ***** **
2.** **** **** *** ****** *********
3.To get back the old results
4.To get a least 1 truly deserved holiday for myself
5.To save up and prepare for unexpected circumstances
6.To turn in early and rise up early
7.To read more books
8.To finally graduate
9.To secure a job after I graduate
10.To be a better person

Ordinary Day- Nick Lachey

I realize that I sometimes help friends to the extend that I couldn't believe it. It's sometimes helping them to the point of almost humiliating myself in front of strangers or maybe I've already humiliated myself, I don't know. Sometimes, I put other people first before me, often neglecting myself and end up having to swallow my dissatisfaction silently. Things had happened in the past that prompt me to do what I do today. People would say 'Let it go', but it's not that easy to let go as just saying it. I suppose the incident will be a trauma that will leave a mark in my life to teach me a great lesson on humility and trust. It is the helping hands that I have offered all this while that made me know so many wonderful people. But still, this is the act that has made people misunderstand too. My intention was being mistaken as an act of getting to fame. Haha. Well,

If I want to be glamorous, I wouldn't be where I am now.
If I want to be glamorous, I wouldn't be wearing what I'm wearing now.
If I want to be glamorous, I wouldn't be studying what I'm studying now.
If I want to be glamorous, I wouldn't be using the gadgets I'm using now.
If I want to be glamorous, I wouldn't be staying where I am staying now.

Ah well, I would still like to be grateful for the constructive comments given. Without them, I would not be able to reanalyze myself in a different way. I would think this is the correct way all the while. I have learned to be grateful and appreciate everything that comes my way as even behind the harshest thing is a piece of advice intended to change my way. So, thank you.

另一个自己- 胡彦斌

I have got to stop all these.
Got to stop pretending everything is fine.
Got to stop being like this and hurt myself.
Got to stop from falling in too deep.
Got to stop thinking like the other person really cares.
Got to stop thinking this is real when I'm only imagining things.
Got to stop and get on with my life.
Got to wake up from my dream.
Got to see what's real and important and what's not.
Got to be brave and ask for the truth.
Got to know to answer to the questions.
But,
How do I stop when I'm already entangled in the web?
How do I stop when I let myself fall too deep?
How do I stop when I keep letting myself think of the absurd?
How do I stop when I keep on hoping?
How do I stop when you are like that?
All I ask,
Is there a future?
Is there gonna be US? Or
Is is going to be Me instead?

抱歉- 陳勢安

It's all over...

当你离开的时候 - 蔡健雅

What you said made me wonder; Did I do too much? Did I bother you too much? How did a little more care turn into a feeling of annoyance? Am I that irritating? Am I that not worthy? If I am that bad, tell me straight in the face. Don't beat around the bush, playing hide and seek or playing hard to get when you don't have the slightest feeling. I am a man of ego, I will surely back off if you told me so. I don't hang around,begging people to do something. That is not me. Nor do I force people. Well, maybe I am not that worthy to be even your friend. And for that, I will keep shut till you come to me.

我不配-周杰伦

I felt like I don't deserve to be with you. Maybe it's because of my ever low self esteem and the insecurity of myself being around someone for too long. I felt like I can lose myself anytime and become someone else that is not me at all. I know that no one is ever perfect but then it's just hard for me to over this sense of feeling that has been with me since so long ago. My ego does not want me to open up to u. A lot of things that I've said might not be true and it's just the way I try to cover up what I really wanted to say. Behind the jokes are the words of truth. What is true inside is waiting for you to come and discover it. I've always been here, waiting. If only the ego in both of us could be stripped away, we would have been the people that express true things. Now, let's play the waiting game. Waiting for one of the ego to lower itself down and reveal the true person inside.

Taking Chances - Celine Dion

Some people are so full of themselves that they do not realize that the world does not revolve around them. They should understand that having a few connections here and there does not bring them around anywhere. They should also know that having a few years of experience does not necessary makes them a more matured person. They should also get to understand that having heard experiences from friends or people that they know will make them know the world more. Being over confident sometimes will bring disgust to others. Sometimes, with the few possessions that they have, it makes them think that they have achieved what a lot others have not. That may be true, but that does not give them the right to be too proud of themselves. Being humble and true to yourselves can bring a further road down. Don't be someone who is just an empty shell that is overly confident on the outside but empty in the inside and depended on others for experience or knowledge. We should constantly remind ourselves that there's always a mountain that is higher than us. Humility and bowing to the wind will prevent the grass from being taken away. Pride and boastful will cause the overly confident tree to be taken down by the storm.

Tattoo - Jordin Sparks

Appreciation. So easy to say it out, and yet so hard to show it and prove it. People constantly were asked to appreciate what they have before the lose what they have and start regretting. In reply, they would say they are appreciating what they have now, but when asked on how do they show their appreciation, most are dumbfounded. People just see what is in front of them and don't really think much ahead. What if one day you just lose everything that you have? What if the person that love you the most suddenly leave you just like that?

We often take things for granted, not realizing that the things that are given to us are all blessings to us for the hardship that we endured. It's not easy to obtain some things in our life, not easy to keep it and appreciate them either. Often, we forget the see the importance of the things that are in front of us. Instead, we tend to overuse, abuse our right and keep on repeating the same mistakes over and over, causing us to lose these items that plays an important part in our life. Dealing with a sudden loss is hard to cope, often leading to regret.

We are proud to think that the things we own will never leave us. We are confident that these things will remain by our side forever. We are greedy to think that what we have now is never enough and wanting more apart from keeping what we have now. Small gestures to appreciate will go a long way into memories. These small gestures will give a greater impact compared to money and time spent. These, are the token of appreciation, so meaningful and powerful that it will be carved into the hearts of people and memories to withstand the tests that come along. So powerful that it can make a person's day. Just a few sentences that come out from the heart, little actions that go unnoticed, or a simple gift with time and the heart that is put into it. How many of you have done these things?