Sunday, October 28, 2007

Undignified - Sugababes

When there is people, there is always politics involved. This is something that I totally agree upon. The current working place that I am in is no different. It's a rapidly expanding company, the company is actively recruiting employees and training the existing ones. As a sales and marketing company, meetings and products briefing are often held, often dragging till late afternoon and often affect the progress of current tasks in hand. Among the upper management level, there is a slight politics issues that is happening. This indirectly affected the front liners and thus, the performance of the company itself. But as a fresh industrial trainee, I do not want to be involved in any of it, and just stand in the middle of all. It's up to the people in the management level to do the killing among themselves.

I guess that every working environment will sure to have that kind of person. This kind of person is such a faker. The person is good in polishing up other colleague's shoes and also the superiors till they see the person as a pleasant person and that they perform their job well. But I don't know what I did wrong, that made her have a bad impression on me, or that she doesn't really like me. I might be over sensitive, but most of the time, when it comes to stuffs like this, I will be correct. She said she deal with the situation, not against the person. But she is doing the opposite things in front of me. She said she only wants result and does not want to know how I get it done. But if that's the case, how can I ask her for details? How can I know what she wants and how she wants it done? Isn't it a bit too ironic? I guess another pro faker will see the amateur faker out. To me, yes you can be as fake as you want to be, but please do it professionally and do not let others to figure you out. Isn't it humiliating when people crack your mask in front of others and let people see who the real you are?

Saturday, October 27, 2007


I think I've got to explain somethings clear about the way I write my blog. It seems to have caused some confusions among the readers. But then,how many readers that I have to boast. Haha. Anyway, the title stated most of the posts nowadays are about songs. These songs are songs that to me, are nice to hear and kinda affect my emotion at the time. But the content of the posts are different from the title. The title of the posts does not have to reflect the content of the posts. And I rarely will post up lyrics on songs. So, please my readers, continue to read my blog even though the title are stated as song titles.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Mended By You- Sugababes

Sometimes, I think too much to the point that I'm getting paranoid over things. Being a sensitive person, a small matter would be thought seriously by me or in several times in different angles. I always wants to consider the matter in different perceptions before making the decision or giving the advice. I want to avoid being regretful in the end, or being bitter of doing the wrong things before giving it a careful thought. I always want to give my best in doing things in my life. 'If you're not the best, be the best that you can', this has been my motto all along. But this is also what cause me to set an overly high goal most of the time without realizing my own ability. Or that I know my own ability, yet I want to set the level of the goal to challenge it and end up being disappointed myself. Every time I get a new job and a new environment, I would get all stressed out and paranoid. I expect myself to able to deliver what they require within a short period of time, forcing myself to learn as much things as possible. The paranoia within me would cause me to fumble in the end, sometimes causing mishaps to myself. Maybe this is caused by workload and expectation that is given to me from the past few jobs as a senior in those jobs. Or maybe it's just me who ponder too much on immaterial stuffs. In the end, this is Me. This is who I am. You can ask me not to think too much; but if I didn't, I wouldn't have been sensitive enough to sense what is wrong with the people I care, the environment that I live in and the small little changes that other people wouldn't notice. This is what has enabled me to live around and deal with difficult peoples in my life. This is what made me who I am today and who I will be tomorrow.

On the other hand, I thought that something that happened last week caused me to give quite a loud expression today in the public. Analyzing it over, I thought that the expression was inappropriate in the public. Maybe my words were quite loud or that my hand gestures were big, but the info that was given to me was not suited for my behavior. Clearly, the 2 people that were involved in the situation have little connection to me, but it was most probably due to the image and perception that I had on one of the subject was crushed from what I heard. I've always perceived 'Never judge a book by it's cover' as half true; But this time it proved me wrong again. But then, it's never my right to be judgmental about people that I barely know. The issue now is that I think my actions were a bit over; And that it will not be the same again the next time the same situation occur.

A quote last but not least, let's ponder. 'Honorable man are all built the same. Do you know when to walk away? Do you know when not to take less than you deserve? If you do, then you are an honorable man.'

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Birthday time

Present that we bought.
The present itself. Cost a bomb.
Happy birthday Kelvin!!! Had fun or not?hehe.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Change- Sugababes

The Drought is over,
Spring is taking Rain and lots of Seeds with it,
To sow, and to flourish into beautiful Sakuras in the Summer,
Bringing scenic view of petals dropping,

To replace the Winter that prolonged the Wake;
New lives are emerging from the ground,
Hopes afloat replenishing what is lost,
A new Utopia is reborn from the white ashes,
Just as the Phoenix arises from it's own ashes;

I am Me, I am not myself,
I spread my Wings, and with it I see the new World,
In this Garden of Heaven that belongs to Me,
In the everlasting Rays of Summer that shines ever so brightly;

The Key for this Garden of Heaven lies in among the illusions outside,
Past Trespassers will be forbidden forever,
Only the Rightful One will have the AllSeeing eye,
Past the Thorns and Beasts to the Pond in the middle of the Garden.

In The Dark - Dj Tiesto

I've learned that a lot of times, when people around you are telling you about their problems and dilemma, we would try and understand their problems and their situation as well. We, as good friends, would put ourselves in their shoes and imagine how we are going to face the problem when we are in the same situation. What results from this is suggestions and best advices in dealing with the problems. And most of the time, we would expect the friends to heed the advice and act according to what we, as their good friends, have suggested. But, we should also understand that, it might only be our suggestions based on our understanding of the situation, and that we're not in the real situation itself. How much can we understand just by listening to what is being told? We can say what we can, advice all we can, order them all our might, but, in the end, the decision is still in their hand. They are the one that truly understand the matter and the feelings in their heart. We, in the end, are only bystanders, and even if we have gone through the same problems, we might have dealt with the situation differently with other circumstances that were occurring during that time. We might not know whether the same method will work twice, or on a different person's situation with different circumstances that comes into consideration. But, the one thing that we, as the good friends is able to do other than giving advices and solutions, is being there for them when they need it the most. This, after all, gives much more comfort to them. I, for one, like what was once written in my display tag: I'll be everyone's confidante, and none will be mine.

Thursday, October 11, 2007


Industrial training starts next week. Final year projects starts in 3 months more. Then it will be my graduation before long. Everything will come and go before I even know it. It's going to be a hectic year ahead. What is past is past. Someone keep on reminding this to me recently. The most important thing is to look in front. Preparation for the future is in the way. And I hope this time, it's going to bring the sakura petals with the summer breeze. To me, everything is still in a mess even though the road taken is quite clear. Cause it's still not as orderly as I want it to be. Though I understand that, not everything is within our grasp. Try as I might, but it's still going to be a lot for me to learn still. Sometimes I just hope that I can pack everything into my mind as fast as possible so that I can learn more, but even the fastest computer in the world has a limit to it. Seems like I'll just have to bear with the limit or should I say the disabilities in me and just deal with whatever that comes in the way. Shouldn't ponder too much into the future or dwell too much in the past. Worrying should be done when the time require me to do so and regrets are things that should be kept behind and in a box thrown far away. Time is of the essence and the present is enough trouble as it is.
To be with a companion for long does not mean that you will know the other person inside out. People change as time goes, and you'll realize that the person you once knew is not the one you know now. Sometimes, it's the complete opposite. We often have this thought once we stay long enough, the person's inside out is known to us. And the database is going to be forever imprinted in the brain, and updating is out of the question. What we should realize is that changing is due to times of compromising, and the ever changing environment. So, what if suddenly we find the other person has changed a lot and we only took realization when it's often too late?
We're going to tell ourselves that the person is no more the same and that love was with the old person instead of the new one. Separation is for sure in the end. Once a while, why not sit back and ponder, whether it is we that have changed or them? And take a new stand to understand the other person again? A tedious task nonetheless, but renew the commitment that would have otherwise gone stale. Small gestures took a long way to be realized, and it is these small gestures that will make us fall all over in love again with the same person. Physical and emotional appearance might change, but it is the whole of them that you once fall in love with, not the superficials...

Saturday, October 06, 2007

inconsolable - Backstreet Boys

Sometimes, even when you have the confidence and the knowledge in something, it doesn't guaranty that you will succeed in that field. Circumstances comes into matter and the other party has to be taken into consideration as well. What if what you have done or try to express does not reach to the other party? Or that the stuffs that you said or did is not in accordance to the questions or goal targeted? And when the results came out, it just give you a jolt in the senses and rearrangements have to be done in order to succeed in the same thing that you have attempted more than once. Repetition is underway, sickening it is, but still need to do done. But then, sometimes no matter how much you've tried to repeat and put the whole damn thing into your head, it still don't matter cause when you attempt the same thing again, it turns out that the whole process has no significance or whatsoever. Which is pretty disappointing seeing that we took out the time, money and strength to go through it all again only to find out that it is bullshit all along. Maybe you would say that, try again next time. Again and again until you've succeeded in conquering the thing all together. But what if there is no next time to it? What if what you do now, is not a total failure nor a total success? Feeling like being stuck in the middle of nowhere in this matter is not good. I feel like I've failed in it, although it's not counted as failing at all. I just thought that if I didn't succeed in the first place, it means that I've failed. And I don't like the feeling of failing and having to go through the same damn thing all over again. Anyhow, I've got to realize that what is past is past. There's no use dwelling in it when we've tried our best in doing what we can. What I can do now is to forget it and go on with my things. Bright days ahead with plenty of sunshine for the growth of flowers. Flowers of success.